Often stuttering is seen as a hindrance, perhaps even a disability.
When most people are asked to name successful stutterers they tend to
mention men like Joe Biden and Jack Welch. They marvel at the confidence
and prestige of those stutterers who have somehow overcome their
condition, whose voices no longer betray their speech difficulties.
But if we look a little closer, the truth is more complex.
In my research for
Out With It I
saw that many people who stutter end up being quite successful, gaining
respect in everything from the boardroom to the basketball court. There
were certainly those who were dissatisfied and unfulfilled, but those
who were successful were not always those who had conquered their
stuttering. Those people who had both excelled, and continued to
stutter, seemed to have certain traits in common. I will explore traits
of resilience in my next post but today I’m looking at the idea of
embracing powerless communication, how it specifically relates to
stutterers and how everyone can harness its power to generate trust and
respect.
I first came across the concept in Adam Grant’s New York Times bestseller
Give and Take.
Grant is the youngest tenured professor at The Wharton School and a
prolific academic in the area of workplace dynamics. His seminal book
gives remarkable insights into what actually works in communication.
In his chapter on the power of powerless communication, Grant argues
that, when it comes to collaboration, we are more inclined to hire,
promote and value people who communicate powerlessly. This includes:
talking tentatively; asking people questions (giving them the joy of
talking), specifically asking them for advice; and being open about our
vulnerabilities and weaknesses, not just our strengths.
The first two are relatively easy to understand and implement, I find
the latter the most intriguing. It is worth exploring through the lens
of stuttering.
When writing
Out With It I discovered how often people are
drawn to stutterers, how likeable they seem to be. At first I balked
against the discovery, worrying that the attraction was perhaps born of
pity. However, the more people I spoke to, the more I realised it was
the opposite – they were drawn to the stutterer’s courage and lack of
artifice. In a world full of noise and nonsense, stutterers were seen as
somehow trustworthy and genuine. Because their speech had nothing to do
with their competence, it did not demean them in their audiences’ eyes.
Rather it raised them up.
The idea that something that we often perceive as a weakness can
actually be an important asset was a personal breakthrough, but Grant
proves that the idea is applicable to anyone wishing to improve their
communication.
Everyone has a weakness, whether it be their weight, their height,
their looks, their clumsiness etc. Often our weaknesses have nothing to
do with our competence, but we try to hide them to appear in control or
knowledgeable or attractive. In actuality, when we speak in a way that
reveals our shortcomings and expresses vulnerability, people can relate
to us as a human beings. They are attracted to us.
- See more at: http://katherinepreston.com/stuttering-and-the-power-of-powerless-communication/#sthash.8OLCdu4G.dpuf
