Letter to my Father, who died.

Every Year in November, I share this Letter I wrote to my dad......



Hi Dad,

The last time I said that, I was about 18 - meeting you at grans house after about a 10 years break from not seeing you at all. I loved to say that word daddy, cause it felt like comfort to me and a kind of sense that you and me had a lot in common - you loved animals just like I do and you loved to be outside just like I do. When I was little, I often bumped into you after school, when you said you were out for a walk, but I know that you were out buying alcohol. You used to stop at these so called kiosks to pick up your little bottles of brandy that fitted quite conveniently in your jacket pocket, so nobody would see. But I always knew, I could smell the sweet scent of that stuff and your particular smile you would have on your face, gave you away. When you got up in the morning you usually went out with the dog in order to get your first little bottle to be able to say good morning and at lease face me and mum. You would come back in a high, never drunk but nearly kind of back to normal, the way we missed you and kind of always wanted you back like that.

I think mum only got drunk to be with you - to be closer to you, because otherwise you were distant. I remember once when you told her you would stop and I caught you buying drink at the shop. You stood there with your long skinny legs in a huge jacket, mum got in a charity shop for you for that winter - you stood there and I hid behind a wall and tears were running down my face, because I could not bear it anymore that you were doing it in secret. You stayed sober for 2 weeks. I was never sure to tell mum or not. That is lot for a 9 year old girl.

When mum got extremely depressed with you, she decided to make the move to separate. But before that you have to understand that she tried everything to keep it together. She tried a job cleaning for other people, I went to Saturday flee markets to sell my toys I did not need anymore, in order for us to buy potatoes in the market.

I remember one day mum had so little money, but she managed to buy potatoes and sweet corn. As we came to the counter I was looking at chocolate and she sensed I wanted it. But I was by then too informed and too good of a girl, that I would never dare to ask. She whispered in my ear, she would get me an ice-cream at the parlour on the way home. I smiled and could fell her scared look about life for the future and all. We went out the market and there you stood waiting for us. You asked mum if she had money and mum said several times no, but you did not believe her. You argued with her and I went to the other corner of the square. You took mums last money and left her standing there with her plastic bag and empty look. She looked to the ground and had her own thoughts - plans that would be soon revealed. She came to me and on the way home past the parlour we went without stopping. I did hesitate a little but knew we were not going to stop, because you took her last penny. She cried silently on the way home and I tried to sing her a song while walking but she did not want that. I was to remain silent. I often wanted to just become invisible, because all around me was sad. At that moment I wished for those Saturday nights, where you were both happy drinking and chatting. For my childhood nearly the only really happy family days when you were both drinking making plans on how to make a better future. I enjoyed playing with my dolls by the side and just felt that chatting between you two so comforting. I know that sometimes, way after my bedtime the mumbling voices would become louder and occasionally fights would occur - sometimes you would hit mummy and say the next morning to me that she had fallen or bumped into the door frame. But I need to tell you that I was always awake under my blanket scared to death about what was happening. I would cry myself to sleep and be glad for another typical Saturday to have ended.

But that moment when I went home alone with mum and you to the next pub, I just felt a Saturday would be just right in that moment. I was a kid. I got used to routine even if it was a shitty one. I could rely on it. It made me feel safe in a strange way.

I have a lot of memory of you like we have of most people good and bad ones. You often took me on your shoulders when I could not walk anymore and you always bought me something sweet. You had a talent of making everything feel normal for me. You used to put on your smile your “lets have fun, pet” - that is what you called me all the time. My whole childhood was a disaster, now I can see much clearer as I am a mother myself. The funny thing is there were times when I felt safe with you - safer than with mummy and other days I was so angry with you I used to cry and on those days I would try and persuade mummy to just pack a little bag and take the bikes and just never come back. It was my idea - my plan. I used to keep a little cotton bag in my room with my favourite things as I thought my plan would be launched any time. When I made these suggestions to mum, she was usually sitting with a black eye or some sort of other injury, and these are the only ones I actually know of. I felt strong telling mum what to do. I felt like a grownup cause mums depression and inability to look after me gave me strength to do something. Somehow time just past by and mum told me one day we are going to visit my auntie with the train. What she did not tell me, is that I would never sleep in my little bed again. She betrayed me for not telling me of her plan after I had shared with her my plan. We left you on a morning and never came back. Mum told you on the phone and all the rest was told to me by others. You took it hard but wanted to keep the dog. You made clear you wanted to see me now and then, but you wanted to keep the dog.



On the day we returned to the house to pick up our things with a friend of mums you put on your best clothes and had prepared little sandwiches. The atmosphere was nice and after all the packing and the fact that everybody was thirsty I was sent to the shop with my bike to get 6 bottle of beer. I by accident broke 3 cause the bottle heads came in my front wheel. My bike flipped and when I returned the concern was more about the broken bottles than my skinned knees.

After packing up all the things I was promised to see you the following weekend. All said goodbye and while we drove off, in the radio the song“it’s all over now, baby blue” was playing. There were tears running down mums eyes and in her own way she let out all her pain she had kept inside for all those years. So many tears were flowing and I held her hand and watched the landscape pass by all this at my all so young life.

I never saw you that weekend and not even the one after that.. Years went by till I finally found you and came in contact. I was 18 and determined to tell you what I think of you. I flew to Scotland and was prepared for confrontation. When I got out the car and walked up those stairs and saw you standing in the doorway at Grans house, I was shocked. You had changed into a much older weaker looking man and all my anger and frustration I collected in those past years just turned into sympathy. You managed to make me think you had stopped drinking and somehow “made it”. I saw straight through you and knew that your visits to the village were the same as there were when I was a child.



We separated saying we would meet the following weekend, you wanted to call. I waited but never heard from you again till another 10 years. This time your sister called not you. This time you had a medical condition and you had undergone several operations. Life led you to London and I was left with one phone call with you and I could just hear that even through the phone you put on that smile and tried to act normal. You had to go for your last operation and I kept thinking of you. After the operation I knew you could not talk but I made sure a nurse would tell you that I, your daughter, called to tell you that she loved you. I think I have never heard you say that, dad. Have you ever said “pet, I love you”? I cannot remember, if so then it maybe for not often enough. 2 weeks after your major operation you died in your armchair. It was a sunny Saturday late evening. Funny for you to die on a Saturday the day when you used to be on top of the world - the day of the week we all loved you.

You had made yourself a coffee and returned to the television. You died with a little picture of my little girl in your hand. A picture I had sent you with a letter a letter to somehow find a new beginning in all this mess. It would have been from parent to parent. But I don’t think from father to daughter. That chance was water under the bridge. I am writing these lines to you today, to tell you that as a little girl I thought you were the salt of the earth. I guess I just got a bit too much disappointed. Always waiting for you, always waiting for those little words that would make me feel special. But do you know what? I forgive you, cause I have my own little family now and I experience the love and I give the love I always wanted as a child. I had so much to give as a little girls, you all just did not want it.

I can live it again with my own kids. You could have been part of this but you decided to go your own way like most of the time, and leave the world. The world that seemed to not treat you right and somehow not have a place for you. I forgive you again, cause I cannot be angry and frustrated at you anymore. I have never had the chance to tell you what I really think but time as passed by, my anger has turned into sympathy again. Just like that day when I say you standing at the door. I am letting it go and looking for the love. I have found the love for sure. My kids give me so much and I am sure there is a part of you in this somehow telling me how much you did love me. I even sometimes see that special glint in the eyes of my little boy. Over and over he tells me how much he loves me - could that be a part of you?

I hope you rest in peace and sometimes like me, think of that afternoon when you and me played ball in the park.

I love you…………

Education

 Homeschooling mummy

 “The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.” ~ Albert Einstein


 

yes, that is what I am a homschooling mummy of four. And I have been doing it since 2005. Back then when we went on holiday and saw families taking breaks during school, I always asked myself - "How do they do it"? and now I am on that side facing all sorts of questions and comments. 

The other day my daughter drove into town with a friend and her mother. The friend asked if her mother had ever thought about homeschooling her. The mother said " oh dear, I just could not be as kind and patient as N.J. she sure must have the patience of a saint".

Now that comment got me thinking. Do I have more patience  than anybody else? I came to the conclusion that this is a path we have taken and of course at the beginning I wanted to do everything right so I - like any parent - overdid it. I played the teacher.

However, this did not last very long. The kids moslty just wanted me to read to them and sit and have tea. And that is what we still do today. We sit, talk, read, talk again, go for walks and explore things together.  Children pursue life, and in doing so, pursue knowledge. They need adults to trust in the inevitability of this very natural process, and to offer what assistance they can.
 
All our kids read - alot. So, in a way i dont worry too much. Of course even I have my days where I do worry but I have still never regret homeschooling them in the first place. Because the time we spend together is so full of quality and love that I would not want to miss that. 
And that is really all you have to do as a parent, just love and trust them.

John Holt once said "There is no difference between living and learning... it is impossible and misleading and harmful to think of them as being separate.” 

And now I am off to read to my kids.

Autumn and Friendship

Albert Camus with his children

Albert Camus would be 100 this month 7th of November, if he had not got into that car, to get a lift to the train station. I think he is a man to discover. I would recommend the book "The Stranger". He had wonderful views and was counted as a little over the top for the times back in the day - but today we know his views and points were right.

I want to wish you a nice Monday morning and maybe inspire you to read something from him. You will stumble over many others of that time - and you will see, how exciting it must have been. Have fun.

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.

Albert Camus

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/albertcamu100779.html#0DSvbR5EVBmDutJU.99

Autumn and Friendship

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.

Albert Camus

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/albertcamu100779.html#0DSvbR5EVBmDutJU.99

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.

Albert Camus

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/albertcamu100779.html#0DSvbR5EVBmDutJU.99

Stuttering and the Power of Powerless Communication

Posted on September 13, 2013

Often stuttering is seen as a hindrance, perhaps even a disability. When most people are asked to name successful stutterers they tend to mention men like Joe Biden and Jack Welch. They marvel at the confidence and prestige of those stutterers who have somehow overcome their condition, whose voices no longer betray their speech difficulties.
But if we look a little closer, the truth is more complex.
In my research for Out With It I saw that many people who stutter end up being quite successful, gaining respect in everything from the boardroom to the basketball court. There were certainly those who were dissatisfied and unfulfilled, but those who were successful were not always those who had conquered their stuttering. Those people who had both excelled, and continued to stutter, seemed to have certain traits in common. I will explore traits of resilience in my next post but today I’m looking at the idea of embracing powerless communication, how it specifically relates to stutterers and how everyone can harness its power to generate trust and respect.
I first came across the concept in Adam Grant’s New York Times bestseller Give and Take. Grant is the youngest tenured professor at The Wharton School and a prolific academic in the area of workplace dynamics. His seminal book gives remarkable insights into what actually works in communication.

In his chapter on the power of powerless communication, Grant argues that, when it comes to collaboration, we are more inclined to hire, promote and value people who communicate powerlessly. This includes: talking tentatively; asking people questions (giving them the joy of talking), specifically asking them for advice; and being open about our vulnerabilities and weaknesses, not just our strengths.

The first two are relatively easy to understand and implement, I find the latter the most intriguing. It is worth exploring through the lens of stuttering.
When writing Out With It I discovered how often people are drawn to stutterers, how likeable they seem to be. At first I balked against the discovery, worrying that the attraction was perhaps born of pity. However, the more people I spoke to, the more I realised it was the opposite – they were drawn to the stutterer’s courage and lack of artifice. In a world full of noise and nonsense, stutterers were seen as somehow trustworthy and genuine. Because their speech had nothing to do with their competence, it did not demean them in their audiences’ eyes. Rather it raised them up.
The idea that something that we often perceive as a weakness can actually be an important asset was a personal breakthrough, but Grant proves that the idea is applicable to anyone wishing to improve their communication.
Everyone has a weakness, whether it be their weight, their height, their looks, their clumsiness etc. Often our weaknesses have nothing to do with our competence, but we try to hide them to appear in control or knowledgeable or attractive. In actuality, when we speak in a way that reveals our shortcomings and expresses vulnerability, people can relate to us as a human beings. They are attracted to us.

- See more at: http://katherinepreston.com/stuttering-and-the-power-of-powerless-communication/#sthash.8OLCdu4G.dpuf

Stuttering and the Power of Powerless Communication

Posted on September 13, 2013

Often stuttering is seen as a hindrance, perhaps even a disability. When most people are asked to name successful stutterers they tend to mention men like Joe Biden and Jack Welch. They marvel at the confidence and prestige of those stutterers who have somehow overcome their condition, whose voices no longer betray their speech difficulties.
But if we look a little closer, the truth is more complex.
In my research for Out With It I saw that many people who stutter end up being quite successful, gaining respect in everything from the boardroom to the basketball court. There were certainly those who were dissatisfied and unfulfilled, but those who were successful were not always those who had conquered their stuttering. Those people who had both excelled, and continued to stutter, seemed to have certain traits in common. I will explore traits of resilience in my next post but today I’m looking at the idea of embracing powerless communication, how it specifically relates to stutterers and how everyone can harness its power to generate trust and respect.
I first came across the concept in Adam Grant’s New York Times bestseller Give and Take. Grant is the youngest tenured professor at The Wharton School and a prolific academic in the area of workplace dynamics. His seminal book gives remarkable insights into what actually works in communication.

In his chapter on the power of powerless communication, Grant argues that, when it comes to collaboration, we are more inclined to hire, promote and value people who communicate powerlessly. This includes: talking tentatively; asking people questions (giving them the joy of talking), specifically asking them for advice; and being open about our vulnerabilities and weaknesses, not just our strengths.

The first two are relatively easy to understand and implement, I find the latter the most intriguing. It is worth exploring through the lens of stuttering.
When writing Out With It I discovered how often people are drawn to stutterers, how likeable they seem to be. At first I balked against the discovery, worrying that the attraction was perhaps born of pity. However, the more people I spoke to, the more I realised it was the opposite – they were drawn to the stutterer’s courage and lack of artifice. In a world full of noise and nonsense, stutterers were seen as somehow trustworthy and genuine. Because their speech had nothing to do with their competence, it did not demean them in their audiences’ eyes. Rather it raised them up.
The idea that something that we often perceive as a weakness can actually be an important asset was a personal breakthrough, but Grant proves that the idea is applicable to anyone wishing to improve their communication.
Everyone has a weakness, whether it be their weight, their height, their looks, their clumsiness etc. Often our weaknesses have nothing to do with our competence, but we try to hide them to appear in control or knowledgeable or attractive. In actuality, when we speak in a way that reveals our shortcomings and expresses vulnerability, people can relate to us as a human beings. They are attracted to us.

- See more at: http://katherinepreston.com/stuttering-and-the-power-of-powerless-communication/#sthash.8OLCdu4G.dpuf

Stuttering and the Power of Powerless Communication

Posted on September 13, 2013

Often stuttering is seen as a hindrance, perhaps even a disability. When most people are asked to name successful stutterers they tend to mention men like Joe Biden and Jack Welch. They marvel at the confidence and prestige of those stutterers who have somehow overcome their condition, whose voices no longer betray their speech difficulties.
But if we look a little closer, the truth is more complex.
In my research for Out With It I saw that many people who stutter end up being quite successful, gaining respect in everything from the boardroom to the basketball court. There were certainly those who were dissatisfied and unfulfilled, but those who were successful were not always those who had conquered their stuttering. Those people who had both excelled, and continued to stutter, seemed to have certain traits in common. I will explore traits of resilience in my next post but today I’m looking at the idea of embracing powerless communication, how it specifically relates to stutterers and how everyone can harness its power to generate trust and respect.
I first came across the concept in Adam Grant’s New York Times bestseller Give and Take. Grant is the youngest tenured professor at The Wharton School and a prolific academic in the area of workplace dynamics. His seminal book gives remarkable insights into what actually works in communication.

In his chapter on the power of powerless communication, Grant argues that, when it comes to collaboration, we are more inclined to hire, promote and value people who communicate powerlessly. This includes: talking tentatively; asking people questions (giving them the joy of talking), specifically asking them for advice; and being open about our vulnerabilities and weaknesses, not just our strengths.

The first two are relatively easy to understand and implement, I find the latter the most intriguing. It is worth exploring through the lens of stuttering.
When writing Out With It I discovered how often people are drawn to stutterers, how likeable they seem to be. At first I balked against the discovery, worrying that the attraction was perhaps born of pity. However, the more people I spoke to, the more I realised it was the opposite – they were drawn to the stutterer’s courage and lack of artifice. In a world full of noise and nonsense, stutterers were seen as somehow trustworthy and genuine. Because their speech had nothing to do with their competence, it did not demean them in their audiences’ eyes. Rather it raised them up.
The idea that something that we often perceive as a weakness can actually be an important asset was a personal breakthrough, but Grant proves that the idea is applicable to anyone wishing to improve their communication.
Everyone has a weakness, whether it be their weight, their height, their looks, their clumsiness etc. Often our weaknesses have nothing to do with our competence, but we try to hide them to appear in control or knowledgeable or attractive. In actuality, when we speak in a way that reveals our shortcomings and expresses vulnerability, people can relate to us as a human beings. They are attracted to us.

- See more at: http://katherinepreston.com/stuttering-and-the-power-of-powerless-communication/#sthash.8OLCdu4G.dpuf

summer time - family time

 

When the sun comes creeping round the corner and the clothes gets too thick and heavy and we change into t-shirts and sandals that is when life becomes easy. 

Our doors and windows are open; the dogs lay lazy in the way - mostly on the tiles in the kitchen to get cooler. We live outside, when the weather permits it. We prepare food inside and out it goes. We grab books and papers and out they go - we plant seeds in the sunroom and out they go too. 

The scent of sun cream and lemons is in the air and although it seems like a yearly ritual, it still comes as a surprise - a scent you want to bottle up. Yes, these lazy summer days are what we need. My boys build up their tent and are busy making swords and arrows. My girls are discussing what university they will visit and what books they have on their summer list. I sit and listen to the voices, close my eyes and feel the warm summer heat and smell the fresh cut grass. All these little memories are connected to one another and I am sure that the scent of cut grass will later remind me of these summer days with my kids.

To all the mums that say "I cannot wait till they go back to school" - just take a moment and close your eyes and listen to the silence you have during the day, while your kids are in school. That is what you hear when they are out of the house. So, relax - engage and make memories - memories with your kids on a hot summer’s day - memories that will last - even in their heads. Let go and enjoy being there in the moment with them. Sip on elderflower lemonade and make clear to yourself that this time will never come back. You only have your kids once - they only have their childhood once - Create memories. Have a lovely summer

What to change for the new year......

I recieved a great post from Leo Babauta and somehow, he really made me think. Here are the points I would like to present to you. It actually really works. Number 10 is the winner for me, cause I have been doing this for pretty long now, and it really does have an effect on your whole being. So, have fun.

These are the 12 rules I live by:

1. I try to go to bed at the same time at night, but always get up really early.
2. I write for at least 60 minutes first thing every morning.
3. I try meditating........
4. I try to check my emails every two days only
5. I roughly sketch out in my head the things that have to be done and get everybody to work.
6. I do not engage in confrontations with anyone, in-person or online. This is a waste of time and energy. If I have caused harm, I apologize and fix the situation. However, if someone simply doesn’t like something I have done or something that I do or disagrees with me, that is fine, but I’m not going to get into an argument about it. For any confrontation-like situation, I simply take a deep breath, relax, breathe out, and re-focus my efforts back on my work and goals.
7. I am guided by these two phrases: a) “Nothing matters.” – By this, I mean that arguing on the internet changes nothing, I can only work towards the major, massive goals that I have set for my life…that I have a vision of helping others, and there is no time to let petty arguments stand in the way. b) “It will all be over soon.” – This serves me in both good times and in bad.In hard times, such as bad days, troubled times, or intense physical effort or discomfort, I know that it will all be over soon. A small amount of suffering now will be forgotten later when I will enjoy the rewards of my work. And in good times, I will remember that life is short, and I must make things count now, and no matter how good things are going I must never let myself become soft and lazy, because I have too much to accomplish in such a short time.
8. Everything that happens to me – good and bad – is my personal responsibility. I blame no one but myself. These are the choices I’ve made – this is the life I’m living. I will accept the consequences of my actions.
9. I want to see the true sides of people, A little trick I have is to actually imagine that person as a child - then I just melt.
10. I will not be a person I don’t want to be. I will not be petty, jealous, or envious, or give in to any other of those lazy emotions. I will not gossip or speak badly of others, no matter who I am with or what environment I am in. I will not be negative when it is easier to be positive. I will not hurt others when it is possible to help. I will know the temptations, situations and environments in life that I must avoid, and I will, in fact, avoid them, even if it means loosening relationships with others who “live” in those environments. It’s my life and that matters more than what other people think of me.
11. “I will always keep the child within me alive.” – Frank McKinney. I will laugh every day. That’s not hard when you have the friends – and dog – that I have.
12. “I will write with honesty and feeling.” – Ted Nicholas. I’ve long since giving up caring about how others choose to judge me. What matters more than others’ opinions is the number of people that I can help by sharing advice and encouragement in my writing. The most powerful songs are written by songwriters who bare their souls. So screw it, let’s do it. Let’s put it all out there. I’m not going to help as many people as I could if I keep the “real info” to myself. I also understand now, better than ever, that sometimes you have to “write to repel” in order to strongly attract the readers you desire.

So that’s it. These 12 rules allow me to live my life with less guilt, more energy, and more productivity than if I did not have these personal philosophies outlined.

Listen, I know that every week you make decisions that leave you full of guilt and remorse, but on the other hand you also make decisions that you know are correct – even though they are difficult to make.
Wouldn’t you be better off if you made MORE correct decisions with less effort?
Of course, and that is where your rules to live by, your personal philosophies, come into play.
With this post, I’ve given you a model so that you can create your own personal philosophies that will allow you to make the correct decision and fewer decisions that leave you with remorse.
As a result of making more correct decisions, you’ll move closer to your goals and suffer less frustration. Life will be simpler once you start adhering to your own personal philosophies – and not worrying about what others think.
So, off you go and enjoy the year.......It can be a relief, if you let it be.
xxx xxx

Merry christmas

 


It is christmas eve, the tree is up, the house smells like fresh cookies and orange peel.

I love this day of the year. Everything seems to slow down in the afternoon and nearly comes to a standstill. It is so peaceful and special.

I wish you all a lovely christmas and all the best for 2013.

Enjoy your family over these lovely days.

xxx xxx

True Love - partnership - friendship - happiness

You know it`s love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you are not part of their happiness.



Have you ever taken a look at the person beside you? Your partner, Husband/wife, Lover, friend. I mean that one person that combines it all. When I look at my husband I fall in love with him over and over again.

We are together now for 18 years and I still can remember the first kiss gave me on my forehead when walking me home one afternoon. I can actually smell the spring flowers and hear the water flowing past us on that spring day of 1994.
All the little things we did and still do for eachother, make out our connection. But one thing has changed in those years and that is "the knowing - feeling" -  sometimes he finishes a sentence I started and sometimes he feels how I feel and just knows I mean yes to things when i actually say no. We are in a way like one person.........

Being together just became for me that rocksolid moment where you just feel really cemented into the earth once and for all.
You are just so tethered to that guy that means the most in the world to you.
Your marriage should be the cornerstone, your bedrock, that place where all great things grow from. I have found just that and all this in combination with lots of laughter and houmor makes it perfekt.
If you are still searching please take this little note as proof that it is out there. Maybe even closer than you think..

xxx

Homeschooling mummy “The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.” ~ Albert Einstein

 

yes, that is what I am a homschooling mummy of four. And I have been doing it since 2005. Back then when we went on holiday and saw families taking breaks during school, I always asked myself - "How do they do it"? and now I am on that side facing all sorts of questions and comments. 

The other day my daughter drove into town with a friend and her mother. The friend asked if her mother had ever thought about homeschooling her. The mother said " oh dear, I just could not be as kind and patient as N.J. she sure must have the patience of a saint".

Now that comment got me thinking. Do I have more patience  than anybody else? I came to the conclusion that this is a path we have taken and of course at the beginning I wanted to do everything right so I - like any parent - overdid it. I played the teacher.

However, this did not last very long. The kids moslty just wanted me to read to them and sit and have tea. And that is what we still do today. We sit, talk, read, talk again, go for walks and explore things together.  Children pursue life, and in doing so, pursue knowledge. They need adults to trust in the inevitability of this very natural process, and to offer what assistance they can.
 
All our kids read - alot. So, in a way i dont worry too much. Of course even I have my days where I do worry but I have still never regret homeschooling them in the first place. Because the time we spend together is so full of quality and love that I would not want to miss that. 
And that is really all you have to do as a parent, just love and trust them.

John Holt once said "There is no difference between living and learning... it is impossible and misleading and harmful to think of them as being separate.” 

And now I am off to read to my kids.

xxx xxx 

I received alot of feedback on some of my posts and most of you said, that I should be writing more. Now the Summer has passed and has changed places with wet autumn and so there is no excuse whatsoever. The only thing could be that I just don't find the time to actually sit down a the computer and write.

I write in my journal every morning. I get up early and have that time to myself and no, it is not the same as writing on the computer. It is actually like meditation. I need it to an extend. The thought of putting on the computer to write something would not occur to me in the morning.
What other excuse could I have for not writing, well that part of being of mother of four must count. And of course being a homeschooling mother of four gives me extra points, right?
So, here I am again. I will try and write more and be more committed.

Tomorrow I will write about this: "how can she home school all those kids, she must have the patience of a saint".......You have no idea how many times I have to listen to this. So, feel free to email me ybout your experience.

Till then relax and enjoy your kids.
xxx xxx