Kids and creativity

When I think back on how I grew up in the west coast of Scotland, I often hear the faint comments of relatives saying "you want to be an artist? You better back that up with another job you can fall back on" or "but you really have to be good, if you want to earn money with it". I remember very well, how it felt the first time I showed my Granny a drawing I was very proud of and told her I wanted to grow up and be a painter. Her face expression was one I had never seen before that day. It seemed like a mixture of disgust in the sense "what makes you think you can do that? You think you are something better". As a teenager I felt bad and wrong on that day. I decided to take a break from drawing, as I felt I was not good enough. This break lasted a long time.

After all that has been written about creativity, we should be informed that, that is the only way out of certain problems, one may have. I know allot of people that work too much and find their lives very boring. They go day in and day out to the same place and find that their life has no meaning. They become sick, depressed and lonely.
The key to get back to happiness is being creative. Write a journal, paint or start playing an instrument. I know I know, most of you would say "I am not talented at this or that" but that is unfortunately what you have been told all these years. Creativity can be found in many places. Planting flowers on the balcony, painting the kitchen cupboard or even rearranging a room is all creative work. It touches a part in you that all other work doesn`t. Our well being is very much defined through this part of our lives we always seem to neglect.

Another problem is that nowadays we are always focused on results rather than the process. When we think of writing, we think of the book cover and bestselling lists, without even having written a page. When we think about painting, we want to be in the same league as Picasso. Making music, seems to only mean something if we could hear it on the radio.
In our house art, writing and music is part of our life. There are always paints on the table and paper to grab. Instruments are all over to just pick up and play. Our kids love writing journals in the morning. When they miss a day, I notice, cause their mood is very different. Writing a journal in the morning after awaking, is like cleansing your head from all thoughts that bother you.
I encourage the arts at all times and just want to build a foundation they could always fall back on to when they are grownups.

I know that most parents draw with their kids and support their hobbies in music etc. but somehow when they get to a certain age that all becomes, "just play" cause as parents we all want to see our kids in "real" jobs. We would never tell them to study medicine and try and back it up with another job, in case being a doctor does not work out. I do think that is is our job to let our kids follow their dreams, cause only in our acceptance can they really find out what it truly is they want to do.

My only advice is, to keep the relatives bad comments out of the game.
So, go and enjoy your kids drawings, writings and their music. And you should do some of that, too. Remember you have to be the change, that you want to see in your kids.
Have a lovely day.

I want to go back to bottles and nappies!!!!!!!!!

This is how I feel today! Why? My eldest daughter is 13. She has a boyfriend. I used to always stress, that she is only 13 and now I catch myself telling everybody - "well,she is nearly 14" in order for me to feel better? I am not sure, but I am now confronted with all sorts of things Kissing or "Tonsil-tennis" as her little sister calls it. She is 11 and still my "baby" she is my watchdog and informs me on every details her big sister is up to.

When your kids enter a different stage in their life, then your life can either be pleasant or full of horror. I mean it starts with sleepovers. These take place regularly in our house and they all sleep in the same room. They chat till the morning hours and then fall asleep. When they part the next day, they are all dreamy and lazy until they are alone with the parents. They transform into demons from the dark and make your life hell. They take 48 hours to recover and in between that they are surely trying to plan the next sleepovers. That is why I hate them. Cause the truth is, they actually don't sleep. But now having a boyfriend, these sleepovers turn me and my husband into undercover CIA agents on the watch! We turn into demons and the lack of sleep reminds us of the days when we took turns carrying our baby girl around through a dark house, cause she was ill or teething. Gone are those days, we are already missing so much. But I cannot have this website and complain without whipping up some kind of solution to you all out there.
Teens need clear instructions on what is going to happen. Their brains are "under construction" and unable to follow complex orders or plans. That is why I have limited my talking to "rules" I make clear what is allowed and how sleeping arrangements will be. I know that if they are up to things beyond kissing they will do it anyhow. But if I offer them a warm bed in the middle of the night and let them even share a bed, then I am actually inviting them to go and "do their own thing". I am just learning and trying to find the best ways. At the same time, I am aware of the fact that what works out with the eldest,will be a totally different ballgame with the other kids that are about to follow in that direction.

Yes, I do miss the "baby days" but I also enjoy talking to my teenager about all big things and small things. I love to see, how she slowly matures and makes up her own mind about the world around her. I embrace the relationship I have with her and I feel brave and so connected to her, as she knows she can tell me anything. But, yes I am scared about allot of things I may decide wrong. It is not easy but it is a journey we all have to take with our kids. So, hang in there I am telling you and myself, keep your ears and your heart open and it will be just fine.